The Future

Everyone has had this conversation at some point in their life.  "What do you want to be when you grow up?"  It's not a simple question.  The answer keeps changing.  Every incarnation is ‘the Last One', but then it changes again.  I think I'd like to work with horses, but as a farmer, trainer, or scientist, I'm not sure.  There is one thing, though, that never changes.  I want my life to be an adventure.

            Some people choose to settle down and live out their lives somewhere familiar; some place that's safe and well within their comfort zone.  That's not for me.  I have to see the world; to see unfamiliar places, meet new people, try all kinds of food, and simply be a part of the world.

            I grew up in a family that never had any great stories to tell.  They stayed mostly in one place and blocked out the world to focus on their own lives.  Too bad their lives weren't that great.  I have a theory.  Maybe if you reach out to the world and don't focus so much on how hard life is, (and it's always going to be hard.) maybe you won't hurt so much in the long run.  I think the key is making memories worth holding on to: Memories worth sharing.

            Right now I'm in a precarious position.  The college I want to go to is an expensive one and I'm running short on the money I need to attend.  Hopefully, I'll be able to get the loan I need but if not...I've already spent a year waiting at home for the same reason and I'm not going to do it again.  For a long time I thought that going to a big, state university like WVU would be awful but now I think maybe it would just be another part of the adventure...

            And so it will be.

            It turns out that sometimes, even when everything goes according to plan, you end up somewhere unexpected.  I did make it to my first choice school and I stayed for a year, but I won't be going back.  Sometimes the plan itself changes.  That school turned out to be too small; small in so many ways, and not nearly what it was advertised to be.  More to the point, I have decided to focus on Biochemistry, a major I could not pursue there, in the hope of one day doing research in the field of equine pharmaceuticals.  At least for now...

            So WVU it is, but first, I've decided, I have a year of growing up to do.  I need to get my license, get a job, make my life.  The future is never certain, but if I am to do half the things I would like, I must take charge of what I can.

            Incidentally, I was denied a spot in the riding program that was the reason I chose my old school in the first place.  I attended anyway as a Biology major and involved myself in the equine program as much as possible; making friends with the equine students and getting a job at the barn.  In the process, I discovered that they did not teach what I wanted to learn, that many of the people involved are elitist, and that the general opinion of most of the staff and students was that horses are dumb, unemotional creatures that are simply used and put away as casually as any car.  In short, if I had made the cut, I would have been miserable.  It's strange the way that works; remarkable even, how life, perhaps God, has such a way of knowing where we all belong.  It brings to mind an old country song I used to hear growing up: "Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers."

            I guess that's really the point of this essay.  Life changes.  The world changes.  Sometimes for better; sometimes for worse, but it always changes and you never see it coming.  And maybe it's better that way.  I think the best thing that anyone can do is take it as it comes.  Take every chance, ride every wave that comes along, and make every moment count.